Not Gay Enough/Not Straight Enough

“Not Gay Enough/Not Straight Enough” by Mika Babineau (2017, 18×24 inches, Acrylic on stretched canvas)

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I identify as part of the LGBT+ community. I very strongly feel that aces deserve to be among other people who share the struggles of having a minority sexuality, even if our struggles can be viewed as “less extreme” than others – ironically, our invisibility in mainstream culture renders us somewhat invisible to the LGBT+ community as well. And being invisible sucks.

The right to exist in LGBT+ spaces should never be a game of oppression Olympics, and yet I still see LGBT+ people try to exclude asexuals and tell us we don’t belong, that we are “basically straight”. Then, I see that straight people don’t understand us either. They don’t see us as normal, they think we don’t exist, they think we’re a joke. Where do we belong? Where can we turn to? We, as the queer community, need to come together and stop the senseless gate keeping. Especially during pride month – the time of year we’re all supposed to celebrate each other and be proud – I see post upon post of people trying to keep us out of pride, or the community as a whole. Aces are not hurting anybody by being in queer spaces. We belong here. “Oh don’t worry”, some people say, “we accept aces who experience opposite gender romantic attraction.” It hurts, because our ace identity is not secondary; you cannot divide up our experiences and only agree with the bits you like. You cannot turn us away because we aren’t queer “enough” for you, and tell us that our ace identity is not valid enough on its own. You cannot take our community away from us. All aces belong in queer spaces.

(special shout out to all my LGBT+ friends who always accepted me into the community and fight for ace inclusion)